Rebranding the Restart

Or, 🫠

Hi there.

I’ve been publishing books since 2010, and in these 15(!) years I’ve experienced so many random scenarios I never could have predicted back in 2009 when my debut sold. Having a movie made out of one of my books was a huge one! Being a New York Times correction after having them put a book on the wrong bestseller list, only to then delist it (and being a New York Times bestseller at all, frankly). Panicking after a publisher accidentally uploaded the complete beginning-to-end synopsis of a book to retailer accounts instead of the jacket copy. Having a reader cross all norms and boundaries by searching for my address and showing up uninvited at my house, forcing me to file a police report, alert fellow authors, and notify my publishers, US and international, in order to ban them from all future events. (Yeah, that was definitely a low… 😐) And so on.

But the one thing I always expected to happen—being asked to start over on a book—never did.

…until now.

Alas, yes. I’m starting over on my adult debut.¹ 🫠 The very one that I spent six months working on, and genuinely enjoyed writing. 600+ pages that will remain buried deep within the dark heart of my hard drive, a flower that died on the vine before it bloomed. And despite expecting that it would happen eventually—despite knowing it happens to everyone—it’s a tough pill to swallow! In the days after I had the call with my editor, I felt really ashamed and embarrassed by the failure, even though I’d be the first to tell you that revision/reworking is the most important part of the process. I feel embarrassed writing this even now!

You can know something is necessary—and this is—but still feel hugely daunted. That’s where I’m at right now. After weeks of pestering my poor author friends with unhinged and rambling voice notes, picking their (very generous) brains, and wallowing, I think I’ve finally assembled my game plan for tackling the rework, fully brainstorming out all of the various plot threads and taking another crack at the main character. Now it’s just a matter of getting past the mental block, and starting the drafting process again. Restarting it.

Listen, I know very little about psychology, but I do know that I have that sort of perfectionism that manifests most powerfully as a fear of failure, which often makes me drag my feet at the beginning of a new book. For the first time, that fear was validated! So I’m working very hard to pivot my thinking away from this being a failure. Rebranding the restart, so to speak. My hope is that thinking of it as an opportunity—to go deeper, to explore more, to reimagine the things that weren’t working—may help me overcome the fear of missing the mark with it again, and the shame of feeling like I shouldn’t have to be doing this so many books into my career.

I know that a better, stronger story will emerge from this, but I definitely needed to go through a bit of a grieving process. If you’re in the same boat, or thinking about starting over on a project, know that we are in these trenches together and I’m here for you. 🫡 I have no travel plans this summer, so I’m hoping to get through the drafting process somewhat quickly, and will absolutely keep you guys updated!

P.S. I’d love to start regularly featuring writing advice in the newsletter again! Please let me know what topics most interest you in the comments so I know where it would be most helpful to start. ❤️

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Lately…

I had such an incredible time at Romantasy BookCon in Los Angeles last month! It’s such a joy to be able to travel to some events with my sister and introduce her to different corners of the book world, and I think we both came away wonderfully exhausted and a little bit in love with the whole vibe.

I had two signings (bringing stickers with me for the first time!) and a super fun panel centered on mythology and folklore hosted by the divine and hilarious Nicole and Lexi of the Fantasy Fangirls Podcast. The whole con was surprisingly relaxed and everyone was in great spirits—there was a really infectious sense of joy to be with one another celebrating and sharing stories we love.

The event was hosted at the historic Biltmore in Los Angeles, which is an absolute jewel box of a hotel. I had no idea the Academy Awards were once hosted there, or that this was the hotel Elizabeth Short, the Black Dahlia, visited shortly before her death. (Supposedly the hotel is also haunted!) And in a total kismet coincidence, The Traitors reunion filmed at the Biltmore literally the week after we stayed there!! (I’m so curious to hear everyone’s thoughts about this season—it’s felt very chaotic to me!)

Aside from meeting readers, my favorite part of the Con was absolutely the masquerade ball. I am still in awe of everyone’s beautiful gowns!!! The jams! The dancing! The sweet treats! It was such a perfect way to cap off a great weekend. 🥰

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Upcoming Events

• Sunday, March 16th: Tucson Festival of Books - Tucson, AZ

  10 AM - 11 AM Teen Worlds: YA Author Carousel in Education 211.

  Signing to follow in Children’s Signing Area

  1 PM - 2 PM Bad Girls Who Own the Spotlight Panel on YA Stage.

  Signing to follow in Integrated Learning Center

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Recent Favorites

(FYI disclaimer: I occasionally use affiliate links in this section and appreciate your support if you choose to use them!)

• I think many people are familiar with Paris Paloma’s song Labour, but I’m just WAITING for the book girlies to discover Hunter, especially the cacophony version. If I were easy to kill, you would have done it already… CHILLS.

• Let Them Eat Tropes by Jenny Hamilton - I really enjoyed reading and thinking about this piece featured on the Reactor blog, especially as someone with a background in writing fanfiction and someone who doesn’t always enjoy boiling my books down to their tropes in order to market them. I definitely get the feeling that the market is on the verge of a shift, though I can’t begin to predict what it’ll look like.

• You guys know I am a candle fiend and have way too many in my home at any given moment, and I’ve found a few bangers at Bath and Body Works that I love enough to want to share! White Iris & Cedarwood smells exactly like Glossier’s You perfume to me, though, like the perfume itself, it doesn’t have the strongest throw. Bergamot and Birch is lovely and fresh without being totally overpowering. If you’re all about Capri’s Volcano scent (aka the Anthro scent) you will love Sweet Orange and Agave. And, finally, I just reordered another Belle candle from the Disney collab because I’m going through my first one so quickly. It’s a mellow floral scent that leaves you with a lovely feeling of warmth.

• I just started reading Greenteeth by Molly O’Neill and I’m so delighted by the voice and writing! 🥹 I really think this one will be great for fans of T. Kingfisher and Heather Fawcett.

• You guys know I love me some bag charms, and my absolute favorite are made by my talented friend Vilma at Sugar Rush charms. They are seriously so much fun and I get stopped multiple times when I take one out for a spin. I’m pretty sure her spring collection will be dropping soon, so keep an eye on her IG account!

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That’s all for this month! As always, you can follow me on Instagram and Tiktok if you aren’t already, or leave me a comment below! ❤️

1. I’m going to experiment with writing this book in First Person POV, so while I can keep certain scenes/moments, I still potentially have to rewrite them.